I have been thinking a lot about passing on positive vibes to Jaxen. I recently returned back to school, and being that my major is Children and Youth Studies, the topic of the emotional state of our children is something that is discussed daily. I am sure that we all are aware that our state of mind definitely affects our little ones, but I couldn't help but think of those very real moments that it is extremely hard to be positive.
I'm sure you all said amen for that one. You know, when it's only 1 am but its actually the 7th time that your child woke up to breastfeed. Or how about when you finally get them down for a nap, pour a glass of wine, and turn on Netflix, just to hear a loud yell coming from the next room? How can we stay positive in these moments?
I'm glad you asked. Here are 5 steps to keep your cool and remain positive
Positive Parenting 101
1. Let go of expectations
If there is one thing that I have learned in relationships, it is that expectations leave room for disappointment. It is definitely hard to remain positive when you're experiencing disappointment. Lets kiss expectations goodbye, and go with the flow, that way our state of mind is not disrupted when things don't go as we expect. So the next time you put baby down for a nap with plans to sip some wine and catch up on Netflix, you wont be so disheartened when he or she wakes up as soon as your butt hits the sofa.
2. Search for the good
It is so easy to see and focus on the negative. There are many things that happen during the day that can throw us over the edge. Baby fell down again, had a poop explosion, or ripped up that important document that you needed to fax within the next few minutes. Although these events can become so stressful that they cause a vein pop, there is still good to be found in each situation. Baby may have fell, but thank God they are still alive and healthy. Yes, this is the forth blowout this week, but there are children who struggle in that area. I'm sure their parents would kill to clean up a blowout. And although that paper is ripped to pieces, it can be reprinted, and baby didn't swallow the document. I have found that finding the good in every situations helps me to remain positive.
3. Take a moment for yourself
The day can be pretty chaotic. Running around, changing diapers, cooking dinner, going to work or school. Chaos does not leave space for positive vibes. It is ok and necessary to take a moment for yourself. Even if that moment is in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, and speaking positive affirmations over yourself and the day.This time is necessary. When you take the time to reboot, you allow yourself to let go of the negative and dance back into your positive space.
4. Live in the now
Negativity is pretty sneaky. Something as simple as not living in the moment can allow negativity to enter your home. Instead of thinking of all the things you wish you could do, or would rather be doing, focus on the joys of the now. Whatever moment that you are in, you will not have the opportunity to live in again. So the text message, the social media, the overwhelming thought of what you will cook later, and the cleaning that you need to do can wait. The now is more important.
5. Find community
It is so important to have others who are in the same walk of life as you to talk to. There is nothing like relating with others. Its calming and refreshing to know that others are experiencing the same situations as you because it is so easy to think that you're in this alone. When I find myself falling into a negative space, things like mommy and me classes, or visiting my sister in love and nephew are what brings me back to a positive space. Positive vibes increase when you find people that are there for you, and willing to walk with you.
I hope these 5 tips to positive parenting help you to be the best parent that you can be!